Friday, July 2, 2010

The Most Unlikely Thing to Ever Happen

I once saw someone try to calculate the odds of an alien invasion. Or the chance that a giant monster would rise up out of the water and Godzilla style attack a city. But all these unlikelihoods pale in comparison to what has happened. If you go out and win the lottery and are then immediately struck by lightning after getting attacked by a wild tiger it will still not be as unlikely as what I'm about to tell you. No, no, don't try to guess you'll never in your wildest dreams come up with something that has this little chance of happening. It's quite possible that even when I tell you you still won't believe that anything so unlikely could possibly have happened. Me coming to China was unlikely and going to Xinjiang doubly so but this just blows all that out of the water. In fact the better you know me probably the more unlikely this will seem. In fact if you had told me a year or two ago that this would happen I would have laughed never even thinking it possible for one second. Are you ready? Are you sitting down since this will come as a bit of a shock? Ok, I warned you this news is not for the weak of heart, the elderly, or the pregnant. I, Daniel Bruno Davis, have become a vegetarian.

There, you're shocked right. You can't believe it. Me who has long railed against everything having to do with vegetarianism; who in high school tried to start a club devoted to meat eating in opposition to the school vegetarian club; who thinks that the only good animals are the tasty ones; I have become a vegetarian. No, no I still don't care about animals. In fact I always find it refreshing how in China people don't really anthropomorphize animals the way people tend to in the US. No, I'm not overly concerned about the environment, in China anyways it's pretty clear that animals are about number 1,000 on the list of things destroying nature. I just thought it would help me to lose some weight. I couldn't exactly cut out carbs as every single meal around here is about 80% rice or noodles, but meat not so much. Many of the dishes already have little or no meat since it's usually the most expensive part. On top of that vegetables and tofu are huge parts of the diet in China and fish is pretty easy to come by. I basically looked at the unhealthy things I was eating in China and realized that if I cut out meat I would also cut out most of the really unhealthy foods. I'm taking about as narrow approach to this as possible. I'm still eating eggs, and yogurt, and what not just not meat. I've been doing this for about a month now, and it's worked out pretty well so far. There are a decent number of things to eat on campus that don't have meat in them, and at restaurants I can usually find something with fish or vegetables. Well there you have it. Now the rest of your day will seem strange and out of place as you wait for a meteor to fall from the sky or a giant tidal wave to envelope us all because if something this unlikely could happen who knows.

7 comments:

Deb Bruno said...

Oh. My. God.
Who are you and what have you done with Daniel? But don't worry -- I have lots of delicious recipes that don't involve meat, thanks to Joanna -- so you'll have tasty meals this summer, and still can lose weight.

David said...

The only thing that would be more unbelievable would be if the glorious Chinese Communist Party fell.

Joanna Davis said...

My jaw has been dropped since I read this. Mazel tov. Welcome to the good side.

bob davis said...

Too shocked...not sure can reply... Please resuscitate...calling 911 to see what they can do about identity theft.

Anonymous said...

Poppy said.. I thought at first you were going to say you were a red sox fan. whew thank God for that. Good luck with your new adventure.. love

Lori said...

Daniel--good for you with this plan! We'll plan on steamers and afresh corn on the cob in Maine!!! (I'm ignoring the Red Sox comment left by someone....)

Unknown said...

My mind is blown.